Space Umpires

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Space Umpires is a sci-fi/fantasy baseball game that Malfador really ought to make! Contact Aaron now and petition him to start on it! :D


The goal of Space Umpires is to get your baseball team through the 255 games of the Galactic League season without their homeworld being glassed by the Sithrak - or by any of your opponents! Oh, and also if you make it through all that, you might wind up in the playoffs or even in the Cosmic Series!

Game Setup

To begin the game, you will need to create an .ump file. This is used to validate that you aren't cheating by spending too many minerals on your players' salaries, or using your tech points to get Genetic Recoding Labs, which are banned by league rules due to the high concentration of anabolic metroids often produced within. Also in the .ump file you can draft players of various races - some have better skills than others, for instance the temporal races are good at base-running.

Managing Your Team

If a player on your team gets injured (say, by a Small Depleted Uranium Cannon), you can swap him out with another player, and your injured player goes into the Repair Queue where it will take a certain number of games for him to recuperate. It's especially fun to sabotage other teams; this is done by clicking on the Inspector Gadget icon. Note that teams with the trait "Deeply Patriotic" are immune to sabotage (e.g. the New, New, New, New And Fifteen Or So More Times New York Turkeys).

Appendix: Rules of Galactic League Baseball


  • One. We are the Malfador thine Umpires; thou shalt have no other Umpires beside Us.
  • Two. Thou art warned not to mess with the Turkeys or defeat them in the Cosmic Series, for theirs are the minerals and the organics and the radioactives, forever and ever, and their wrath will be upon thee, and their clout is like that of a kiloton of rabid lawyers.
  • Three. In order to proceed to the Homeworld, thou must pass through the three Bases in order: one, two, three. Thou must proceed exactly to three; do not stop at two and then run home, and do not goest thou looking for a fourth base, for thou wilt search in vain a billion years.
  • Four. Thou shalt attempt to win by any means necessary, including violation of the previous two Rules.
  • Five. The infield fly rule does not apply when the ball is hit by a Norak. Sorry, but they have a special religious exemption.
  • Six. Mineral planets art the best.
  • Seven. Thou shalt not gamble away thine minerals on the game, or thou wilt be banished from the ancient and venerable High Score List. Gambling thine organics is acceptable; radioactives, the jury is still out.
  • Eight. The Quantum Accelerator Cannon is a lie.
  • Nine. Be thee wary of warp points of strange colorations, for they often lead to the Sithrak.
  • Ten. PLAY BALL!