Aesyrii Concordat

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The Aesyrii appear in a couple of community web sites, but mainly in Legacies


The Aesyrii also go by other names; Those Squiddy Buggers, Drunken Bloody Pests and “Hmmmm Tasty!” (Although we may have misheard the bugs who were saying that as their eating organs were full at the time.) Their government type is a Council of Elders (Will we ever get a representative democracy? Hah! Not if they have their way…) comprised of 5 leading Aesyrii. The leaders Title is Prime Speaker with a Deputy Speaker and three Speakers in waiting. (And these are the best from our gene pool? Give me a break! That Narratio has 6 clones that I know of. You’re not telling me he could attend a flower garden opening of Siffus IV and the opening of a new spawning ground on Plodnik II in the same Dirnii are you? Moron!) The Prime Speaker operates as a first among equals (Hah! If you believe that I’ve some prime farm land on Deseret I want to sell you!).

Give them 30 minutes (Why we gave up measuring time in Shalkus for this minutes and seconds stuff is beyond me… I blame it on Human TV signals) and a cross section of your speakers and we’ll speak whatever you speak. They're also rather passive aggressive. (They never attack, but what they take, they hold. Gotta’ have somewhere for the kids to play you see?) Current Political Standing: Neutral, but will hang with anybody that has public libraries and universal literacy. They fight for spawning rights in prime locations (swamps, mud pools, sewage outfalls etc). Given the relatively long life spans of 250 to 300 Terran years (Blasted human measurement systems! What was wrong with using Diurnii and Stadii? That’s what I want to know! If they were good enough for my ancestors….), the goal oriented thinking and hermaphroditic nature of the Aesyrii, currency doesn’t mean much. They get rewarded for great feats of thinking, positing new theories, proving existing ones etc, by being given small plaques of bronze with the accomplishment and date engraved on them. The more plaques one has, the better the spawning grounds one is allowed to use and thus the higher the chance of the offspring surviving. Which, given the really low birth rate, a 25 year gestation period for the eggs and an amazingly low sex drive, means quite a lot. Gives you time to plan for a family…


Culture; In SE4 terms they’re Honorable Scientists with a Neutral alignment, who take the “Natural Merchants” bonus (can’t be bothered building space ports) and, if the points are around, Organic technology. In reality they’re short sighted techno geeks who wouldn’t notice a nova if it went off next door… Unless it upset a particularly interesting experiment. In which case you’d better bar the doors and get out the guns ‘cos we’re coming through! They’re not above stealing technology, if it’s left in plain sight, on a park bench, with no guards on it and you help them lift it. To be honest, they’re not too sure what the human word “copyright” really means. I mean, there are no secrets in nature. You’ve just got to learn how to read her hand writing. They’ll share thier tech freely, level for level and sneer at you for not knowing what they know. Kind of snotty really, but hey, they’re only not human!

Aesyrii can be found in many places, usually where there’s some sort of scientific test going on. They’ll be the ones with the almost subliminal “What’s that? Why are they doing that? Where’s he going? Oooow… Why did you hit me?” mantra wheezing from their air horns. They started thier intersteller growth by looking at the background radiation of the universe, the 2cm lines and others. It was in the "sweet spots" that they started to find evidence of alien civilizations. This helped spur their space programs. In recent centuries however they've discovered an amazing species called humanity. It is on this race that most of their investigations have now become focused. Prime Speaker Horissio rose to his position some two thousand years ago by his dissertation on the relevance of custard pies to sexual relationships in bi-polar species after intense study of the "Lucille Ball" show. A civil war was only narrowly averted after transmission of the $64,000 Question show stopped being broadcast. The Council of Elders was established after the philosopher Pefibrio pointed out that there may have been 7 panel members at each of the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts, but only 5 made valid contributions! The first Aesyrii armaments program went into development soon after transmission of the Flintstones started to arrive and, when Dr. Who began to be broadcast, a whole school of temporal studies was created to account for this. In only one major area have the Aesyrii failed to create any form of explainable hypothesis. This is in the area of sports. It makes no sense to them at all.


Biology; The Aesyrii are blobby amoeboid in structure (Imagine a green rubber sack filled with Jello), massing about 250kg at Earth normal (Blasted humans and their measurement systems!). They have a thick integument capable of assuming most shapes for short periods. It travels and manipulates objects by putting forth multiple pseudopodia. It eats by extending its stomach around the item to be consumed and engulfing it. The closest earth style animal approximate would be an Octopus or Squid with a partial endoskeleton. They are an amphibian race with two simple eyes on long retractable stalks and two complex eyes on shorter stalks. The skin has some partial mimic ability ranging from a grayish color through greens, browns and blues, all of which are dark and matted colors. There are 4 breathing tubes (Humans call them “air horns”) with basal sphincters which can be used for making noises for communication, although color and slight shape shifts form a huge non-verbal language base. Humans hearing the Aesyrii singing have usually described it as a tomcat trying to mate with a set of bagpipes, but everyone knows they’ve got no taste… Except the bugs, who generally describe them as “sweet and sour”.

There are 4 “leg” analogs they can be extended. These are developments of flagella and have a partial bone structure. When extended, the body tends to sag downwards. The 4 “arm” analogs are similar. Owing to the mobile body shape, grasping digits can be formed of almost virus level fineness. The stomach can either be extruded out of a sphincter on the underside of the body and through a hole in its food sources skin, where it will be eaten from the inside out. Or the Aesyr can squat over its food, engulfing it, so it gets eaten from the outside inwards. The endoskeleton can be rearranged to form a cage like structure around the large brain or, in case the food source fights back, the stomach. Anything grabbing an Aesyrii has a good chance of finding itself pinned down and being consumed. This was its prime offense and defense in the long ago days before they were given intelligence.

Between the bases of the 4 breathing tubes are 4 small ear trumpets or horns, which are supported by separate muscle groups, allowing the horns to move or aim towards an item or individual. This appears to be a reaction like the ear flicks of Terran deer or Humans , a way of ensuring that you can spot predators coming. The ear horns are also covered in small hairs or cillae which are vibration sensitive and allow the individual to feel movement from a direction that the horn is not aiming. They have no sense of smell and appear to not understand the concept.

It should be noted that the stomach cavity is also the site of its anus. Humans refer to this as “One stop shopping”. What comes in must go out after all.

Being a single sex species has advantages and disadvantages. (Being told to “Go F*** yourself” by humans is considered a polite request to spawn in their homes. Consequently there are few that have been given invitations into human households). The eggs, up to 10,000 at one time, can be carried for decades without harm, although it feels uncomfortable and bench mates make comments about how you’re getting fat. Usually only 6 or 7000 eggs will hatch, with most being eaten by their fellow hatchlings in the first decade or so. After some 20 years intelligence begins to appear and the cannibalism stops. Or at least slows way down. By 50 earth years of age, they are full adults and contributing to the races knowledge base. Adults are never allowed near spawning grounds until after the young have left. This stops them having a sudden attack of the munchies and the Aesyr loosing a generation in an afternoon.

Eggs are laid by an exudation from the skin. The skin, being the toughest part of an Aesyrii, acts as the birthing spot for the Aesyrii eggs. These eggs are carried in a thin layer beneath the skin covering the major body area. At birthing, there is a rhythmic firing of muscles beneath the skin and the eggs are ejected. A Human would consider it a “Whole body shiver” except that, instead of hairs standing erect, up to 10,000 eggs are squeezed free. In water these would usually fall into the bottom where they would be covered by the settling soil and sand stirred up by the shivering. On land the parent has to physically cover them with sand or soil. Now, with the advent of technology, many parents reject the idea of spawning and opt for invitro birthing of the spawn. In this laboratory controlled manner instead of an odd hundred survivors from multiple thousands, almost all survive. This has helped fuel the recent Aesyrii expansion into space. Of course, this spawning technique means that, given the odd genetic twists of the Aesyrii, the spawn end up being identical to their parents. They are clones if you would, with almost identical thought patterns and mannerisms. The evolution of the species, which was never very fast to begin with is therefore slowing down.

Due to the oddities of body structure Aesyrii are slow moving on land or in the water and cannot climb. They can however take extremely high gee forces and extremes of temperature from +68C to -60C. They are immune to most viruses and pretty much proof against low level radiation. Their DNA structure has 96 links and is a left hand spiral; they have a low mutation rate, rarely get ill and almost never suffer cancers or lesions.


History; This bunch are survivors of a galactic research mission that went astray. The first Narratio had this dumb idea that dropping through a black hole would lead to another universe. He was a 5th level Biologist with a few minor breakthroughs in virus farming who was considered a loony by his more down-to-mud fellows. And he knew nothing about space travel. But the council considered it worth a few ships just to stop him cluttering up the meeting schedule. So off he went with a collection of youngsters who wanted to see the universe. Now navigation was never a big thing with the Aesyrii and so, when they bumped into and through a gravity wave they thought the worst of the journey was over. But before the research fleet reached its destination, it fell through something, possibly a worm hole. The record is not too sure as a lot of the physicists and a bunch of equipment, 95% of their databases and Narratio, all got a bit squished in transit.

The ships came through badly damaged but able to make a landfall. That was about 3,300 earth years (Human measurements again!) ago. Since then they’ve struggled to create a new civilization to get them home, although now they’re paying a little more attention to the physics of space travel. Their own section of the galaxy, (or maybe it was a different galaxy?) didn’t have half as many different life forms as this one. It’s fascinating! This leads to the youngest Aesyrii annoying the elders with nifty things like space going trees, bees that not only collect honey but peanuts as well and a grass rug that doubles as a semi sentient beach towel and lives off of fleas and ticks. The Elders say this is nonsense and they should stick to things that everyone can use like Sunflowers that can laze sunlight, better starships and pizza that gets delivered in 30 minutes or less. (Maybe those humans have some good things after all). In short they are great genetic engineers, but get lost in the nuts and bolts of mechanical stuff and rely on other races to supply those needs. The wages of these expatriate workers are usually paid in gold, diamonds, platinum or whatever the beings find valuable.

The Aesyrii also know one special thing. They’ve proof that they’re a genetically altered species created by some elder race. Written into their DNA is the equivalent of a “smiley” icon. Their history is thus one of searching for enlightenment. Although one philosopher put it as “We’re searching for God. And when we find him, her or it, we’re going to ask some very pointed questions. Probably with a very pointed stick!”